Review of Absolute Duo

"It was like a scene from a teen movie" -K (except it was four and a half hours long) Preface: Absolute Duo is what we call least common denominator entertainment. It takes _trite_ and true tropes from a hundred other anime that are equally as generic and cliché, slaps a fresh coat of paint on (and some nasty 90s looking 3D CGI), some new names, and the semblance of a plot, all nicely wrapped up in used toilet paper for your viewing (dis)pleasure. Inspid to the max, somebody dug up some long forgotten, rotting corpse of a moe-harem-action plot from underneath the dumpster outside and said“hey guys, wouldn’t it be funny if…” and Absolute Duo was born.

Animation and Artwork: 3

Don't let the OP fool you. The OP looks like it could be great for the 1:30 duration of the song, but the visuals in the meat of the show are average at absolute best. The most abhorrent thing is the 3D animated soldiers. If I could vomit fake, run over it with a dump truck, melt it down, eat it, and then crap it out again, it would look better than this hack fraud schlock.

Sound and Voice Acting: 6

Finally, something worth talking about. Absolute Duo does make good use of some talented VA.
Tooru's voice, Yoshitsugu Matsuoka, is instantly recognizable as the voices of Kirito (SAO) and Arata (Trinity Seven).

Yukari Tamura (Kill La Kill, Higurashi) is FAN freaking TASTIC as always. She reprises her role as Nui Harime here and... *whispers* "wait wat?" I'm being told that she is actually not playing Nui Harime, and is instead Tsukimi, the teacher. Well, they're the same thing anyway.
Haruka Yamazaki (Inou Battle), a relative newcomer, also gives a good performance as Lilith.

OP and both ED's are fast paced electronica tunes. Good stuff.

Characters: 2

Tooru: typical MC, out for vengeance... meets all these girls, friendship never eeeeends! (I can’t groan enough here,) Due to {insert generic traumatic past} he must protect his friends at all costs, and given that his Blaze, the manifestation of his soul is a shield... let the self sacrifice begin.
-Julie: naïve, bland airhead, exists for loli fanservice.
-Miyabi: useless, luckless, and serves to be really annoying and drag everyone down (it's probably the weight of her boobs).
-Tomoe: average female protagonist, above average bust size.
-Lilith: I like the way reviewer Poorqs put it: "A bratty rich girl; she has mastered the fine arts of Engrish."
-Nui Harime: The teacher. She has two modes: one; obnoxiously cutesy, bubbly, and overbearing. Two: murderous, unhinged, and deadly. She's also the object of many a fantasy, being both in maid costume at all times with bunny ears and a tail, the aforementioned disproportionate breasts, and stupidly overpowered.

The character of Lilith was woefully underutilized, in my opinion. Though she says some real groaners, she's a more interesting character than the other females for the sole fact that she knows a lot of things they don't and doesn't act like a giant idiot at all times. She also has a particularly useful power of having a gun when everyone else has melee weapons, but it’s never effectively used, because everyone has to monologue long enough for it to be forgotten about. She does get a little more development other than showing off her unrealistically proportioned boobs.

Story: 2

Tooru Kokonoe, our "tragic hero" enters cookie cutter magical school in order to gain MORE POWER!!! with which he vows to get vengeance for his lost loved one. He and his airhead moron of a partner Julie solemnly swear that they’re up to no good and head off to go rip shit up, but mostly just get their butts handed to them repeatedly before the power of friendship takes over. The love stories go nowhere, the plot spins like a broken record, unnecessary side plot and terrible exposition, not to mention the just general trainwreck of tone.
There's a slew of other cookie cutter character boxes to check off, the x-dere this, y-dere that, and a really contrived love quadrangle that's forced in for plot convenience and to try and give some conflict to this utterly boring schlock. Cutting to the chase: the one driving the Bronco ends up not being the Machiavellian antagonist, but the --HOLY PLOT TWIST BATMAN-- unassuming spurned love interest.
The heart of the cards wins out in the end, everyone is saved, and a bunch of really crappily 3D animated soldiers get mowed down, crisis averted. Whew.

(they even ripped off Gurren Lagann with a "grit your teeth" slap, for shame!)

Enjoyment and Overall: 3
Junk. Rubbish. Refuse. Detritus. Someone with more money than sense had enough decimal points in the bank to send it this way, and here’s what we got. This isn't some enrapturing show unless you just love moe blobs and bouncing boobs everywhere. Again, this is no high brow, thought provoking show, but it 'is' a pretty boring one. Predictable progression, lack of characterization, and really contrived plot twists, it just screams "3".

+Good choice in VA, despite being a poor show
+Listenable OP and EDs
+/- typical action/magical school
- BAD 3D CGI (Ghost in the Shell SAC 1st's cars look great by comparison)
- Generic and uninspired

Recommend?
No, unless the ecchi/magic school/action with really bland characters and an inspid plot interest you.