Review of Don't Toy with Me, Miss Nagatoro

It would seem that “Nagatoro” has absorbed hackneyed anime clichés: there is a shy to the point of pain, homely, fearful and weak main male character - an introvert (Senpai) and a main female character who shows an incomprehensible (and extremely unhealthy) interest in Senpai - a hyperactive girl a grade younger him, beauty and athlete (Nagatoro or "Demoness"). Nagatoro's interest in Senpai reveals in a quite unusual way - through all kinds of bullying (mainly of a moral nature, but not without assault), vulgar ridicule and bringing Senpai to tears with humiliation. However, the huge amount of time that the Demoness spends on bullying,often of a sexual nature, and her obvious outbursts of jealousy towards Senpai, indicate Nagatoro's interest in him. The latter, although he sluggishly protests against ridicule, sexual harassment and humiliation, also experiences pleasure from the constant attention from the Demoness and from her sexual provocations. It would seem that everything is clear - we have a rom-com with ecchi elements, with clichéd characters, romanticizing the codependent relationship of a couple of sexual perverts who have found each other, with an obvious abuser, Nagatoro, and the victim of her harassment, Senpai, and they show us ordinary sadomasochism, which does not cross the line of outright BDSM -pornography only due to the age restrictions of anime.

However, there is something in this anime that catches and captivates even those who do not experience a perverted attraction to sadomasochistic games. Here you should pay attention to the first episode, in which a short flashback explains the passivity and timidity of Senpai. He recalls how, from early childhood, he was constantly teased, beaten and humiliated by his peers, from which he stopped resisting and tried in every possible way to remain invisible to others. Especially for people like Nagatoro and her friends. Senpai says that Nagatoro is the same as his past tormentors, but immediately admits that he partly enjoys her bullying. Why is this so? Perhaps the mechanism of such psychological defense is similar to Stockholm syndrome. The victim of the latter, as a result of psychologically traumatic violence, begins to associate himself with the aggressor, thus trying to relieve the stress of his own helplessness and may well fall in love with the abuser. And as one of the “admirers” of this anime put it, Senpai turned out to be the winner, who made his bully fall in love with him. Isn't that what every victim of Stockholm syndrome wants?

However, it is extremely mistaken to believe that between Nagatoro and Senpai everything comes down to perverted sexual desire, Stockholm syndrome and there is no real love. Just the opposite - ridicule and teasing are an indispensable attribute of falling in love. Falling in love, like sex, is an eternal subject of jokes. It is wrong to think that ridicule is always hostile. Lovers are always making fun of each other. It turned out that the humiliation experienced by Senpai, upon meeting Nagatoro, was transformed into a love game. Humiliating jokes have become part of flirting. An abstract “bully”, before whom the main character felt helpless, turned from an unclear threat into a specific sexy girl, sincerely in love with Senpai and never bringing his bullying to something that could truly harm him. On the contrary, Nagatoro protects and entertains Senpai in every possible way, trying to help him overcome his long-standing psychological trauma and adapt socially. A “bully” not only became unarmed and safe, but became dependent on Senpai and began to “serve” him.

The same applies to the hero’s shyness. As Kant said, laughter is an affect that arises when tense expectation turns into nothing. All the complexes and sexual fantasies that weigh on Senpai and oppress him, Nagatoro, with her provocative jokes, pulls out, making them visible and funny and, thereby, disarming them, destroying their power over Senpai and liberating him. In the process of ridicule, in the form of a game, Nagatoro provides Senpai with everything that he secretly dreams of. The heroine persistently heals Senpai’s mental wounds, exposing them and making them harmless.

So, everything that Senpai was afraid of, that traumatized and oppressed him, turned from an invincible monster, against which Senpai was powerless into an energetic and attractive girl, head over heels in love with the protagonist, who was stunned by this situation. Perhaps, for many, such a girl - a “savior”, “safe”, playful and emphatically sexy, but at the same time innocent and bashful (yes, contradictions to fantasies are not a hindrance), who is sincerely in love with them, who destroys their fears by ridiculing and pulls them out of the shell of loneliness and dullness of everyday life, is the subject of sweet dreams. Something same to a “Prince Charming” for girls. Therefore, there is nothing surprising in the popularity of Nagatoro even among the public not prone to sadomasochism.

But that's not all. The author of "Nagatoro", skillfully conveying the experience of falling in love that he apparently experienced, involves the audience in the depicted love game. They, together with the heroes, engage in a light and cheerful love dance, through empathy with the heroes, overcoming their own fears, complexes and embarrassment, worrying and laughing together with Nagatoro and Senpai, and experiencing catharsis with them. Coming into contact with love through anime characters, viewers experience the lightness that accompanies it. After all, even when everything is so bad for lovers that, looking at them in real life, you cry - in poverty, in the hospital, on a prison visit - their joy amazes us and touches us in a way that few other things can. Perhaps it was this joy and lightness that captivated me most in “Nagatoro”. This is what distinguishes “Nagatoro” from other romcoms, where love coexists with melodrama and excessive sentimentalism, while lightness is often absent altogether, turning love into a “bittersweet” perversion of a genuine feeling. The undoubted skill of the manga and anime writers, as well as the Japanese voice actors, in how they successfully conveyed the fun and ease of falling in love deserves high praise.