Review of Sword Art Online

So. I'm going to be honest. I loathe this anime. Unfortunately, I had a good friend recommend this to me (sorry, but there's almost nothing but criticism ahead), so I went in with high expectations and fell far to end up with such a low opinion on Sword Art Online. However, I will explain myself and break down point by point why I hate this anime. Prepare for a long ass review. First, let's get the very small amount of "good" out of the way: _____ ART/ANIMATION: 8/10 Hey, you can't go wrong with A-1. Their standards of animation are high, and it's no different with Sword Art Online.The scenery, art design, and everything is pretty and nice looking. The only reason why this category gets 8 instead of a 10 is because the character designs for the protag and all of the female characters are bland looking and fall under "generic cuteness".

SOUND: 6/10
Well.... the soundtrack is okay. It doesn't stand out or anything, but it's decent enough. It fit the anime itself and that's that, and the two theme songs are pretty catchy. Basically what it comes down to is that I don't have an issue with it, and that's one of the best opinions I can have for SAO.

VOICE ACTING: 7/10
This is not a category by itself, but I don't like stuffing both the acting and the soundtrack/music under one category. The voice acting is all around good. Though there were only two or three standout voice actors (and for minor characters, too). None of the voice actors for the main characters were good enough to actually improve their characters, but they did what they could.
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Now, the bad (oh, there is so much of it):
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STORY: 3/10 (first story arc) + 1/10 (second story arc) = 2/10 overall
This is arguably the part of SAO I feel saddest about. Not mad, like how I feel about the characters. Because honestly, the first story arc (Aincrad) had a lot of potential. It could've been amazing. But no. It was thrown away in favor of silly filler episodes with one-shot characters who do nothing and contribute nothing and have no presence or personality.

And let's not even get started on the second story arc (Alfheim). It makes the Aincrad arc look like solid gold, it's seriously that bad. It's awful and cliché, like many things in this anime. The story that the first arc had to offer was more than enough for 25 episodes, so the second story arc was never even necessary.

There were a lot of pacing issues with both arcs, but especially the first arc (plot twist, this is one thing the second arc did better) because it felt like there were large chunks of story and development missing between each episode.

In conclusion: First story had potential, but threw it away with awful execution. Second story arc was awful in all respects and never should have been made in the first place.

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CHARACTERS: 1/10
Like many reviewers before me have said, THIS is the part of SAO that is, by far, the weakest. I'm going to cover the main characters individually and then cover the other characters in groups. Sorry, this section is going to be a little long. Some minor spoilers ahead.

A) Kirito (male protagonist cause this is shounen, and they're always male).
Long story short, he's a Gary Stu. He has no flaws. He has no weaknesses. He never falters, never makes a mistake, is never unkind or selfish (except for in maybe the first two episodes). He's boring and is one of the least compelling protagonists I have ever seen. He gets little-to-no character development and it's just so hard to get invested in him. Unless, of course, you put in yourself in his place as a self-insert. Sorry, but that sort of thing is only acceptable in real video games. And when you think about it, it really puts you at a disadvantage if you're a female and straight. Anyway, enough about Kirito. Though he's the most boring protagonist I've ever watched, I don't actively dislike him. He's just dull.

B) Asuna (female lead/love interest)
She's also a Mary Sue. Except tsundere. Initially, she's... kind of decent. She's badass, at least, but it's also so typical that it doesn't mean anything. She still lacks any sort of individuality or identity. Unfortunately, it gets a worse when she becomes friends with Kirito.

But you know what, I didn't actively dislike her character until the second story arc. You know why? The writers thought it would just be a fantastic idea if she was further stripped of her identity and agency and turned into some helpless damsel in distress who's there just for Kirito to rescue her. How insulting. I can't go into detail, but what they did to her was pretty disgusting to me. Way to turn an already weak female character into something utterly useless and use detestable tropes to make the audience feel more sympathetic for her. I can't tell you how much I hated the Alfheim arc because of this. This accounts for half of my anger, actually. The other half lies with the next character:

C) Suguha (talk about incest subtext)
My main question is: Why was she even needed?
My second is: Why does she need to be in love with Kirito?
Look, let me make things clear, when it comes to incest, I have almost no opposition to it in fictional works. But here, it makes no sense and only serves to make a useless love triangle. Considering how she was raised to think that she was Kirito's sister for 10 years, this shouldn't even happen (look up the Westermarck effect). But apparently the writers couldn't let one major recurring female character not be in love with Kirito, so. If she was just a sister character and they developed her relationship with Kirito without her being in love with him, she might've been decent. Maybe. But probably not because as you know, good female characters are just impossible to write.

D) Yui (the odd surrogate daughter)
Okay, so I'm just going to briefly touch on her character and say that it's stupid to me how she's the surrogate daughter of Kirito and Asuna. One of her purposes is to be cute. The other is to be an exposition fairy, and she is quite literally that in the Alfheim arc. I suppose one should be grateful that she's not in love with Kirito, but she's still another useless female character and her entire role tastes like diabetes. It's just that saccharine and syrupy sweet.

E) Other Supporting Female Characters
It's really annoying how almost every single major (as in, gets a decent amount of screen time) female character falls in love with Kirito for next to no reason. It's one thing to have a crush on him because he's cute, but every female (bar Yui) is almost instantly in love with him. What's even worse is that they usually need him to save them, so they're mostly damsels. Unfortunately, because this show is shounen, female characters suffer that much more. They're all generically cute and in love with Kirito, and none of them actually do anything except serve to boost Kirito as a ladies' man. They don't really have much personality either. Well, at least they have more than Kirito does, but they have so little presence that it doesn't matter.

F) Supporting Male Characters
Well, there's Klein. Whom I personally dub as "the only SAO character who matters". Because, yes, he's the only one I actually care about. It's amazing, he's only on screen for about 15 minutes total, but he still brings so much life and personality. The other male characters are pretty cool too. Agil, Heathcliff, Recon in the Alfheim arc (though he gets very little screentime), etc. Even though they're there even less than the female characters, they're at least memorable and unique and in Klein's case, downright loveable. But, as expected, they frequently get tossed aside in favor of some female character or another to fawn all over Kirito. But I enjoy them when they're there, so it's nice that they at least exist.

G) Villains
The villain of the first story arc is actually pretty decent. He's the only other character I find interesting besides Klein, but he's there for such a short amount of time that it was impossible to attach myself to him. Oh, but like the plot, he had potential. He was good when he was on screen. I'm always wishing he got more development and screen time.

The second villain though... I can't tell you how bad he is. He's a cartoony (albeit, more risque), cardboard cut-out villain who has no depth at all. He's awful as both a person and a villainous character, so you can't even enjoy him as an over-the-top villain because they made him just that unlikeable.

H) Character Relationships (not a character, but needs to be addressed)
The second biggest problem with the characters aside from the fact that they're all so poorly written. No one relationship gets development. No, the writing pretends that it gets development, but there's almost none. For example, there's a lot of time spent with Kirito and Asuna, but their "romance" is as forced and cliche as can be. Actually, almost every relationship feels forced and cliche. Basically, if you were expecting development, don't expect to actually get it except in the most superficial way possible.
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Whew. That was long. Alright, I'm done. I don't want to talk about the characters anymore.

ENJOYMENT: 3/10
I have mixed feelings because I feel differently for each story arc. The first one, I would probably give a solid 5/10, but the second one is more like a 1/10 because it offended me so much.

I guess that averages out to a 3/10, so I'll stick with it.

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OVERALL: 3/10
If I average all my scores together, it's actually a 4, but I'm lowering it one more point because I hated the Alfheim arc so much. If it was just the Aincrad arc, I would ease up and give the show a 5/10, but the second arc just utterly destroyed that, didn't it?

Sorry, but no dice SAO. Congrats on being the worst anime I've seen all the way through, though.

In conclusion:
- One point for Klein
- One point for the animation
- One point for the voice acting

PS- I'm really sorry if you read my unedited, ranty, angry spoilery review.
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BONUS SECTION: HOW SWORD ART ONLINE COULD HAVE BEEN GOOD

A) Cut out the Alfheim arc out all together, instead have all 25 episodes be about Aincrad.

B) Have a protagonist who isn't a Gary Stu. Have interesting, nuanced characters whose relationships are well developed instead of just skimmed over.

C) Take time to develop the plot. In fact, have a complex, progressive plot instead of random episodic filler.

D) Have good female characters who aren't written in a sexist and insulting way.

and

E) Klein is either the main character instead or has a lot more screen time.