Review of Land of the Lustrous

[SPOILER WARNING] Houseki no Kuni is a show where the most boring, flat cast of characters do absolutely nothing for 12 episodes amidst one of the most barren, uninteresting environments I've ever had the displeasure to see. Ill attempt to break down why this show assumes the audience is brain dead and is generally an offensive watch. First: what this show does right! Animation: HnK won best CGI in the crunchy roll anime awards, and id agree with that sentiment. Some of the shot composition is really well done, and the movement is very fluid. The CGI is well done and nevercomes off as jarring. I was really excited when i saw Phos laying in the grass as it was truly gorgeous to look at.

Sound: This anime got an amazing OST it frankly doesnt deserve under any circumstance. What an absolute waste of brilliant music. Most of the sound design works well too. HnK is a joy to listen to.

Now the rest:
Character: The cast of HnK is absolutely forgettable, with the exception of Phos who is so poorly written, it makes me want to gag. On that note, Ill break down Phos.
Phos is presented as a character living in a utilitarian society with no utilitarian value. I found this to be a very interesting and intriguing way to introduce a character arc, especially within the confines of the physical aspects of various crystalline structure. The first few episodes seem to want to embrace this character arc, as some quick research shows there is some structural merit to Phosphophilyte itself that other crystals dont share. However, this seems to be too complicated for the author to actually realize, and so HnK decides instead to continually break down Phos's body in favor of other tired and boring gimmicks shared by the rest of the cast. So we first see Phos broken down via dissolution, which magically gives her the ability to converse with the sea creatures (whose name i cant be bothered to remember), though this is later revealed to be simply the sea creatures selectively conversing with Phos in order to take advantage of her. Nothing comes of this. Second, Phos is given legs of a different gem stone which gives her super speed. Nothing comes of this. The author clearly cant decide on a consistent way to develop Phos's character and attempts to force Phos into a tragic scenario where they must watch another character "die" in front of her eyes. This scene has no weight as death in this show has by this point been established to have no weight. Thus Phos comes away from her tragedy with gold and platinum arms that do the exact same thing Cinnabar's body does. So by the end of the show, Phos's character has been stripped of any chance to shine as inherently unique and replaced by the same stock gimmicks given to the rest of the cast. Phos only has value when she casts aside her identity. This is a clear sign the author has no fucking clue how to write a convincing character arc, and this is reflected in the rest of the characters.
The rest of the cast: They almost entirely exist in the background making the occasional snarky or edgy comment which constantly falls flat. Kongo sleeps, and occasionally shows up to be a bad ass, Barts is a diamond thats somehow better than the other diamonds even though black diamond is supposed to be crude (props for working that aspect into her character, making Barts ever so slightly less dull than the rest of the cast). Diamond tries to be affectionate but gets through to no one. Everyone else falls into obscurity as quickly as their introduced. Cinnabar is sad because she is poisonous and no one wants her, but no one does anything about it. Every one is a one trick pony with no impact and no agency.

Narrative/ Plot
Its fine for a show to have a boring, flat cast of characters if there is a narrative that holds up the show, but HnK's narrative is non existent. A bland cast of characters fights a boring monster of the week that goes no where. How dull. The biggest sin this show commits is that the writers realize the show is complete garbage and attempt to shift the tone by forcing a tragedy out of no where, but as previously said, this falls completely flat, has no foresight, comes out of nowhere, and just comes off as a lazy attempt to make the show edgy. HnK is certain the audience is brain dead enough to accept what happens though, but the "death" of Antarcticite is frankly offensive as a plot device with Phos being inexplicably trapped in a prison, unable to do anything but watch. Anyone paying attention knows that no one is actually dying though since gems can always be resurrected at the plots convenience, which was previously established early on. The plot then attempts to pit Phos against Kongo but goes exactly no where with it. On a final note is the arc, or rather lack there of, for Cinnabar who is exactly where she started by the final episode.

Ill reiterate: Houseki no Kuni is a complete train wreck which assumes its audience is brain dead in an attempt to sell pretty visuals and aesthetic as a passable show, and its absolute transparency is frankly offensive to sit through. I wanted to drop this show at episode 3, 4, 6, 8,9,10 but stayed based on the assurances of others opinions that the show would come through at the end, only finishing the show past episode 10 due to being so close to completion.

DO YOUR SELF A FAVOR AND JUST LISTEN TO THE SOUNDTRACK THIS SHOW DIDN'T DESERVE AND THINK OF YOUR OWN STORY TO ACCOMPANY THE MUSIC. YOU COULDN'T POSSIBLY COME UP WITH ANYTHING WORSE THAN HOUSEKI NO KUNI.