Review of The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya (2009)

Now this review will be a review for both seasons of the Meloncholy of Haruhi Suzumiya because let's be honest they aren't two seasons: they are two parts of the same anime and some retarded squid on the commitee decided to air a half finished series and then go back years later and finish the rest of it, but to be fair to anyone who hasn't watched either season this review will contain no spoilers. Well what can I say about such a well know and popular series? Oh that right it's stupid and over-rated asshit. I've heard so many good things about this series I thought it would grip me balls from start to finish and leave me queitly wimpering for more. But as it stands it's just plain bad.

The story is a complete joke, not a funny one either. I went into this completely blank on the story and at first I thought it was going to be a typical high school anime, but then the story takes a turn at the corner of Bat Shit and Crazy and I was genuinely surprised and I thought to myself "Maybe this will be actually really good." The rest of the story is told in arcs form after every characters gets their "Who the fuck are you and what do you have to do with anything" time over and done with. The thing was from there it starts into an arc that was completely insane and Haruhi was on the fast track to being in my favorite anime list but then it just goes down hill from there. The arcs from then on out ditch the aforementioned intruigue and get really boring really fast dropping most of the awsome premises to take a lovely stole down Shitty Lane. Now arc based story telling isn't always bad but the fact that it was completed years later by people I assume had only read the Cliff notes of the first season really does show. The tone and focus of the story never stays in one place like a druken hobo. And the ending... OH the ending. The ending is supposed to bring closure and wrap everything up but this ending leaves me feeling like a lot of women leave Bieber's room, completely unsatisfied.

This isn't helped by the characters being absolutely horrendous. Haruhi Suzumiya, the bitch who this series is named for, is probably one of the most annoying characters to blight anime possible over. She is completly spoiled and gets whatever the fuck she wants and treats everyone around her like shit. The worst part is there are glimpses of Haruhi being a truely sweet girl underneath her completely unlikeable personality but then it's buried under the fact that the rest of the time I'd prefer to smash her face in with a wooden mallet then listen to the fecal water slide flooding from her mouth.
Then there is Mikuru Asahina who is fairly unique in the fact that I hated her even more then Haruhi. To put it in perspective, if I hated Haruhi so much I wanted to burry her six feet under I'd like to tie a cinderblock around Mikuru's ankle and give her a one way ticket to the bottom of the Marianas Trench. All she does is get bullied by Haruhi, cry like a new born infant, and then FUCKING FAN SERVICE EVERYWHERE!
There is also Itsuki Koizumi who isn't near as bad but he just gets annoying because he just constantly smiles and bends over to take it up the pooper from Haruhi.
Yuki Nagato is alright. She's pretty quiet and reads a lot, nothing annoying here.
The last and most enjoyable character is Kyon. Now he's the only one that Haruhi hasn't got completely wrapped around her finger. He's not afraid to tell Haruhi she's wrong. Kyon also give alot of narration to the series which does alot of good calming me down after Haruhi's constant bitching makes me want to throw my computer out my window. If it wasn't for him I'd have dropped this terrible series like the moist turd it is.

Now the art for this series happens to be pretty good. The only thing I noticed is that the season from 2006 seemed to have better animation the the series from 2009 which just proves that society is only getting shittier. It's most noticed in Haruhi's completely hateable face. Its rather ugly and punchable in the 2009 season but 2006 series it actually looks pretty darn cute that is until she opens her fucking mouth causes an insatiable urge to shove a sock down her throat. The sound is alright but definately not used to its full potential. That first arc I mentioned had great mood music along with totally being awsome but the series never really uses it very well after that point. The English voice actors do a pretty good job at least.

The bottom line is this series is one that starts off solid but then its bones emulsify and it turned into racid pile of used tapons. It got so boring at points I broke out my phone and started playing solitare and if you're trying to escape from your escapism then there is something wrong. Now feel free to comment on my profile telling how I'm wrong.