Have you ever watched a massive dump for a few hours gather flies? I have. It’s called Funny Pets! Funny Pets is the tale of a sun thing and a moon thing and a poor excuse for a woman doing nothing IN CGI! This anime will change your life, mainly because it with make your eyes bleed so hard that they might just fall out of their sockets. On with the review! Episode 1 is pretty slow. Nothing happens. Episodes 2-5 things begin to pick up, with nothing happening even faster. Episode 6 is pretty special, with nothing happening. Episodes 7-10 is where it gets fun, with special attention paidto the parts where nothing happened.
Episodes 11-12, the final episodes- It got really emotional when nothing happened. I might’ve cried a little.

I’m expected to analyze the different components of this anime, but I find that I first must go over a crucial tidbit of information before we get to the real meat and potatoes, if the potatoes were grown in shit and the cows were reenacting a scene from “the Human Centipede.”
Before someone points out that it’s a kids show and that it’s meant to be simplistic, HAVE YOU SEEN THIS SHOW. It’s so violent at times (the moon at one point rips out his eyes and accidentally steps on them, something you too can experience after watching this), the moon looks creepy as fuck (enough to give a 10 year old nightmares), some scenes are trippy as hell and the girl has large boobs. And yet the pastel color scheme, the way they talk, and the simplicity lead one to believe it’s meant for children. And now, the moment you’ve been waiting for! The part where I shut up and REALLY review this thing.

First, the story.
Actually, no. There’s no story. There’s really no story. I wish I was lying.

Onto the art, you can probably guess how I feel about it. My experience with CGI and anime up to seeing Funny Pets was not pleasant. After seeing Funny Pets, my experience with CGI and anime was a horrific bloodbath of shattered dreams. The animation is something I could do better in my sleep. I am actually convinced that they walked into a preschool and had them work for fifty cents an hour (in American dollars so they couldn’t even USE the money) scribbling and drooling on the computer, and then walked out with what they called “Funny Pets”.
As for the character designs, I must say WHAT character designs. There’s a sun and a moon and a chick. Their designs barely exist.

This is where I’m supposed to review the voice acting, the opening, the ending, anything under the giant umbrella of “sound”. Haha, nope. If you can actually concentrate on the sound while gouging out your eyes, it may come as a surprise to you that they’re not speaking Japanese. They’re not speaking English either. In fact, the ENTIRE anime is spent with the three basically babbling incoherently in no language. You can turn the sound off and nothing will happen. The opening and ending is the kind of music that I’d expect to be played in the background of Rugrats or something. I don’t actually remember the opening or ending to well, considering that after hearing the dialog, my ears self-destructed with the intent of saving my mind.

Here comes the good part, the characters. The characters are the driving force of any story, but unfortunately I cannot review them because they, once again, barely exist. They don’t have any emotion, they only have this mind-numbingly frustrating blankness to them. However, the creepy moon sometimes has glimpses of a personality, but then, oh no, he’s just a blank slate.

I fully recommend this anime, if you like the self-infliction of pain. If you’re not a sadomasochist, then don’t stand within 500 feet of this anime.