Review of Land of the Lustrous

I am writing this review because I believe I hold an uncommon opinion. Don’t worry, it’s spoiler free. Allow me the time to tell you a story. Once upon a time, a little boy was shopping at a mall with his mother, when he passed by a brightly lit shop window sporting an inviting neon sign at the entrance, labelled simply “Candy.” The display case under the sign had a large, swirly lollipop in it, each swirl being a different color. Eager to satisfy his taste buds with the sweetness of a candy he has never ever seen before, the boy tugged on his mother’s coatcollar, begging for her to buy him the seemingly delicious treat.

The mother, not even bothering to look at the price tag, took a single glance at the ridiculous lollipop and told her son, “It’s not worth it, I’ll buy you something else.” Being a stubborn little boy, he sat down onto the floor and refused to move a single step. Exasperated, the mother led the boy into the shop and paid for the candy.

The boy, overjoyed at his victory over his mother, licked his lollipop with vigor. After a few licks, he noticed the lollipop didn’t taste proper. Taking a look at it, he noticed that he’s been blending the different colored swirls with his disobedient tongue. Despite realizing this, the boy noticed that there was nothing he could do to salvage his ruined lollipop. Not knowing what to say to his mother, he finished it silently.

Later that night, the mother asked the boy, “how was that lollipop?” The boy, not wanting to admit his own wrongdoing, plastered a smile over his face and replied, “it was great.”

What is the moral of this story? There are a few.
1. Just because something is new and fancy, it doesn’t mean that it’s good.
2. A weird blend of themes and flavours will not always leave a good taste in your mouth.
3. Mainstream consumers do not want to admit the faults in their initial judgement.

<Artstyle and initial thoughts: 10/10>
How does this relate to the anime Houseki no Kuni? It should be quite clear. The “innovation” in this series is the usage of CGI. In the brief history of anime I’ve had the pleasure of experiencing, there has not been an instance where CGI was used well. Naturally, a show that executes a controversial style well would receive positive attention. Admittedly, the artstyle for this show suited its purposes well enough, so I have no complaints. In fact, talking strictly cinematography, art and sound, this show is unparalleled at creating an immersive atmosphere. Now, if that’s the case, why did I imply that the show “isn’t good?” Speaking of the show’s purposes, you’ll see soon enough.

This show is complicated in many ways. Plot, characters, setting, all of it. Allow me to clarify. Complex shows are not intrinsically bad, in fact, that’s far from the truth. However, shows that end up complex due to blatant execution issues are BAD. Not even god tier art can carry such an aimless, thoughtless story.

<Setting and Plot: 3/10>
Let me start with the setting. The worldbuilding in this show is highly fantastical, and the explanation behind how everything ended up the way it was sounds like something a 13-year-old whose idol is his geologist grandpa would come up with. Sure, it’s ludicrous, but there’s nothing wrong with a good laugh, but I digress. The premise of the show is surprisingly amazing for philosophical explorations on rational sentience and immortality. On top of that, the CGI artstyle compliments this setting very well, leading to some extremely beautiful scenes. Sounds like fun and lollipops, right?

No. Here comes the plot. The first two episodes work to introduce the characters and the world, but it suffers from a major writing issue. It leads you to believe that this show is a social commentary emphasizing on the hierarchical nature that results from self contained communities, and how each character suffers as a result of their own mental insecurities and lack of identity. That doesn’t sound too bad, if it actually followed up with what it set itself up as.

After a series of slimy (ha, ha.) events, you find yourself in a confusing spot halfway through the show where you start to wonder where this show is going. Remember what I said about the setting being an optimal one for philosophical exploration of unique themes? You actually get some of that. Just three lines of dialogue unrelated to the plot, then the show wants you to forget about everything that happened in the first half of the show in favour of some shounen style character development, which is carried out for the remainder of the show, to my massive disappointment. Sadly, the first half of the show provided weak narrative exposition at best and pretentious, irrelevant babble at worst, and this was actually the good half of the show.

Do you like repetitive, meaningless fights with no emotional implications or plot strings attached to it? This was the case with most of the fight scenes in Houseki no Kuni. The typical end result of each fight is that our main character "develops." You'll see what I mean.

<Characters: 2/10>
Don’t we all love that classic slice of life “conclusion,” where a stupidly dramatic event drastically alters the characters beyond recognition, in a weak attempt to add dimension to the cast? Wait a second, I hate that. Referring back to the plot section, I mentioned that the first two episodes set the show up for a character oriented exploration? I guess it wasn’t completely off the mark, if Dora the Explorer is your type of “exploration.”

The supporting cast is usually defined by a single, one dimensional trait that dominates their entire character. This is evident in Diamond, Cinnabar and Bort. The rest of the many characters are not worth mentioning. There is some very weak development by the end of the show, but this was not the anime’s focus.

My dear Phosphophyllite. You developed so much, its almost as if you underwent a chemical change (pun and sarcasm intended). This character’s journey of self discovery was the aim of the show, yet her changes are not only inconsistent with her former self, ridiculously dramatic, but also violates the laws of chemistry. The sequence of events that led up to who the character became by the end of the show was definitely the result of inadequate planning and incompetent writing, evident by a chain of stupidly dramatic incidents that served no other purpose than to turn Phos into a more dynamic character.

Perhaps you don't agree with my criticism that Houseki no Kuni's characters lack depth, if you've seen the show. It's difficult to argue this point without spoiling anything, but I'll say this: our only knowledge of Phosphophyllite is her current desires and motivations, which progress from a linear lack of self worth to a sentimental attachment to a certain dead character following a short time skip. Both of these plot devices lack narrative backbone and portrays Phosphophyllite as incredibly shallow and her actions extremely simple. There was not a point in the show where I questioned the motives or psychological states of a single character, because this shallowness is present in the entire cast. There simply isn't enough information or character exploration in the show.

My last point lies in my disappointment that the basic premise of immortal people was not evident at all in the characters’ behaviour. In fact, every member of the cast acts like a 21st century high school student, which ruined the immersive atmosphere the art desperately tried to create.

<Final Thoughts and total score: 5/10>

It may be clear by now, but my biggest issue with this show is the obvious lack of direction in its narrative, mismanagement of dramatic structure and insignificant ending. I am aware that the anime does not adapt the entirety of the manga, but hey, I’m just reviewing what’s here right now.

Would I recommend this show? If you’re interested in sitting through a 12 episode tech demo, be my guest, but don’t place many expectations on the storyline to provide a compelling analysis of a theme, or the characters to bring any entertainment.

I will reiterate that the art was beautiful. There is no denying that. After all, isn’t a big, swirly, colorful lollipop enticing? Just don’t forget, mommy warned you...