Review of Scorching Ping Pong Girls

Shakunetsu no Takkyuu Musume (Scorching Ping Pong Girls) is a textbook case of 'I should have known better'. This anime from studio Kinema Citrus - following the trials and tribulations of a middle school girls table tennis team - had the potential to be an interesting experience but the warning signs were there from the opening episodes. What unfolded was a by-the-numbers moe-sports hybrid. You've seen this before: New girl has skill, makes number one player jealous and the pair work hard to overcome their faults and step up their game. Is there at least interesting characters or twists to the story to makethis predictable formula exciting? Don't get your hopes up. Annoying mannerisms from the cast, bland character design and a drab narrative all play their part in making Shakunetsu no Takkyuu Musume a show I'd backhand off the table in a hurry.

Our main character is Koyori Tsumujikaze, a shy transfer student who finds the perfect place to seek excitement thanks to the Suzumegahara Middle School table tennis club. It's there she runs into the number one player, Agari Kamiya, a confident but jealous girl. Koyori is in search of the player who can bring out the best in her, and Agari fits the bill. Agari has never been greatly tested by the rest of the club but when the talented Koyori shows up things start to change.

It feels kind of wrong to hate on such a light-spirited show but when its characters sound and act like fingernails on chalkboard then it's hard not to. To counter this I've come up with a way to make watching Shakunetsu no Takkyuu Musume somewhat bearable. It's "Tozzy's Scorching Ping Pong Girls Drinking Game", and the rules are simple. Grab a bottle of your favourite spirit - the kind that makes your head throb harder than Koyori's heart - and make sure you key in the emergency number on your phone beforehand, just in case. Then take a shot every time Koyori mentions the excitable state of her heart, Hokuto converses with a character not by name but by the colour or composition of their underwear, Kiruka decides to nest her noggin in Mune's comically large chest, Hanabi squeezes or fiddles with someone's hair or one of the first-years need the game explained to them during the middle of a point. It's not so much that there's anything wrong with these things, it's just that their repetition reinforces little surprises Shakunetsu no Takkyuu Musume is willing to throw the viewers way. The show is built upon characters who act a particular way, and one way only. Sweet, jealous, insecure, creepy, quiet or loud. The end result? No curveballs. Little development. Rarely entertaining.

If you've followed through my drinking game I apologise in advance. I assume by the point you've made it through the 12 episodes adhering to these rules then you're in trouble. Regardless if you're staring down an empty bottle or into your soul contemplating why you watched this show there's one thing that's clear to see - Shakunetsu no Takkyuu Musume is no different from the last moe dribble you watched. It's sickeningly sacchrine and painfully dull. All these faults, cliches and annoying characters are actually disappointing because there's the odd moment of glorious animation in this show but it's not worth slogging through the remainder of the series to witness it. Some of the table tennis scenes (the main reason I watched this show) look fantastic, at least when the characters decide to shut up and let the game unfold, that is.

Thanks to a one-dimensional cast and a story that ends at an awkward moment Shakunetsu no Takkyuu Musume earns three heartbeats out of 10. Someone get me a defibrillator and make my heart race again.