Review of Kiss Him, Not Me!
Who knew it could be so entertaining to watch a high school girl fantasize about her guy friends butt-fucking each other? And why didn't you silly bastards tell me about this shit?! Inconsiderate assholes. 'Kiss Him, Not Me' (KHNM) was an incredible surprise to me. Despite what I found to be a rather interesting premise, I approached this series with hesitation, fearing that it might end up being just another cookie-cutter romance between oblivious fools constantly overreacting to stupid misunderstandings, as is often the case with seemingly-odd romances nowadays... or perhaps something even worse, considering the touchy subject matter. Thankfully, though, what I got was notonly an atypical romance, but one of the funniest shows I have seen in quite some time, one that had me in stitches from beginning to end. The strangest part: I'm not even a fan of yaoi!
Before we get to the fun shit, here is how I scored this hidden gem:
Story: 7
Art: 9
Sound: 8
Characters: 9
Enjoyment: 10
OVERALL: *9/10*
Instead of giving a traditional review, I decided it would be more fun to rate Kae's potential love interests and delve into their personalities a bit, beginning with the worst and going from there:
*DISCLAIMER: LIGHT SPOILERS AHEAD*
5. Shinomiya Hayato - Shinomiya is the beta-male of the group: He is short, weak, cowardly & spineless, and suffers from a slight case of "small man syndrome" as a result. Aside from constantly kissing Kae's ass and following what everyone else is doing, he constantly attempts to show off by acting macho, which, considering his utter lack of anything resembling manliness, usually fails in a hilarious fashion. Shinomiya is one of two suitors who is clearly only interested in Kae because of her looks, making him especially unlikable in my eyes. I rated Shinomiya as the worst among them because, not only does he have the least in common with Kae, but he was the only character to openly look down on her with contempt before losing the weight. Fuck this punk-ass bitch.
4. Nanashima Nozomu - Arrogant, stupid, ill-tempered and not at all shy about being shallow, Nanashima is more your stereotypical high school douchebag. He excels in sports and knows how to fight, but there isn't much else about him that is particularly redeeming on paper, at least compared to the rest of the suitors. Nanashima is the other suitor who is only interested in Kae because of her appearance, and he is easily Kae's most aggressive pursuer: making the most overt sexual advances towards her; becoming try-hard whenever he feels outdone in some way; and even being the only love interest who literally tried forcing himself on her (albeit in a state of "delirium"). He is barely saved from being the worst of the suitors, though, by his resemblance to Kae's favorite anime character, his positive relationship with his sister, and his eagerness to defend Kae when she is in danger... and yes, the so-called "nice guy" ought
3. Igarashi Yusuke - And now, we have reached the "cool guy" of the group. Igarashi is pretty much your standard male protagonist in romance anime: He is popular, athletic, bright, confident, assertive and even kind - the type of guy who almost every girl (or guy) in the school would want, and already the ideal romantic protagonist. Igarashi also goes through the most character development in the series, especially with regards to his feelings for Kae, and, despite being an ideal romantic interest from the get-go, he is perhaps the most-relatable character in the entire series. While he is leaps & bounds ahead of the two aforementioned douche-nozzles in terms of desirability, there are still two people who exceed him as romantic interests, at least in my eyes.
2. Shima Nishina - There are some things that a man simply cannot do, and that is where Shima comes into the picture. A prodigy in many ways, Shima is our resident lesbian and has more in common with Kae than the other four combined; in fact, not only are they both otakus with similar tastes, but Shima is a doujinshi author who has written some of Kae's favorite titles! Shima also fell in love with Kae before she lost weight, so there is no doubt that her feelings are genuine. It was a tough decision, but I had to rate her a very close second because she can be a bit smothering, possessive and enabling, which negatively-affects Kae more than once.
1. Mutsumi Asuma - There are "nice guys," and then there are genuinely nice guys... and Mutsumi is most definitely the latter. Also popular with the ladies, Mutsumi is that quiet, easygoing and a little absent-minded type who draws you in with his pleasant nature and infectious aura without any effort whatsoever. From the very first time he is introduced, it is obvious that he liked Kae for who she was from the beginning; in fact, he was the most indifferent to her new-found beauty, and the only one who recognized her immediately post-transformation. He gets the top spot, though, because he is the most honest, forthright, empathetic and supportive of all the potential suitors; best of all, while he doesn't exactly share her interests, he has no issues with participating in any of Kae's hobbies, and even volunteers to serve as a muse on more than one occasion. Mee-yaoi!
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Does this list match up with yours, or do you find someone else more deserving of Kae's affections? Perhaps you want the guys to fuck each other senselessly as well, or maybe you wanted the ladies to do some hardcore macking+muff-diving. Whatever the case may be, one thing is for certain: as long as there is some homo-ness in the air, Kae will be there to faithfully observe from behind the pillars... with drool running down her chin all the while.