Review of Full Metal Panic!

Another review brought to you once again by that drunkard Dion bloke.Warning to all that my reviews are full of mature language and some other shit. So FMP! what has it brought to our little world of moe and cute and huge eyes with glitter in them?Well it brought chaos and death and blood pooring from the screen and.....What?Wait a minute?Did i get this wrong?School?Romcom?What the fucking hell?What is this?Mr Jimmy and Dr Jim? I should point out that i'm not in any way unfit to write a review it's the anime itself that is bipolar.One min it's a romcom another min it's an all guns blazingmilitary mecha punch in the fez.

How's this for a story?A top secret top of the pops unit has been assigned the protection of a high school girl(my my what a surprise)who yada yada doodly has info in her head that is top secret and terrorists want them and so the 3 of the best guardians of the galaxy venture to protect the blue haired hottie.Sagara,Kurtz and Melissa are the chosen ones.They're the best,the deadliest the most fearsome team.And not only that,they can also handle the so called "arm slaves" mechs.So you expect at this point to hear me saying that all hell breaks loose right?Nope...They send Sagara the military nut,as we're kept reminded through the series,to fuckin school so he can be close to Chidori,his protectee.This was supposed to be funny cause Sag has no concept of real life much less school life.But take it from me this ends up just like any other ecchi harem anime you've ever seen.Everyone "hates" Sagman but also loves him big time..That's women for ya right there:"I want him,no i don't,maybe i do i don't know leave me alone i need time to think"...This also holds true for our little Tsundereness Chi.

After some seriously bad attempts at comedy we stumble upon the strangest transition known to man.They thought:"We have this military nut,we have mechs...Why don't we use them?".....And in an instant the anime becomes an Arnie Schwarzenegger-esque one.Where bullets fly like there's no tomorrow and shit explodes and blood poors from your hard drive.Or that's is exactly what they wanted you to think..The thinking behind the scenes was well thought of,the planning,the execution all that stuff was good...But the on screen result was a bit lifeless.It didn't grab me by the balls and make me stand up and sing songs of praise.I can summarize it like this..They wanted to please 2 audiences and in the process failed at both.Comedy was cheap,action was mostly an afterthought and the switch between the 2 was as unnatural and disgusting as seeing Weinstein jerking off!

The indecisiveness between action and comedy ultimately is the main issue with FMP!.It feels like two separate shows with a weak connection between the two.Had it focused on Sousuke and Mithril and kept to being a mecha military anime,that would be fine.Or if it instead concentrated on Sousuke's inept attempts to adapt to a normal high school,that too would have been fine.But given the separated layers of mecha action and high school comedy,the result is a half great parfait.

Animation was for the most part good.Nothing outstanding but still pleasing to the eye.The characters were nicely done as were the mecha and the military stuff like choppers and jeeps and shit.As for the movements they were jiddery at best,especially when it counted the most.In the fight scenes.There were some details that were absolutely sweet,make no mistake,but the actual scenes themselves were not quite as good as i expected.As for the use of CG,it isn't as bad as most people say they are.They are comparable or even better than modern ones.Or at least they feel like so,maybe the dark tone of the anime helped a bit there.

Soundwise nothing stood out i'm afraid.The songs used were not fit for the tone of FMP!.In any other anime they would be fine but that was like using kids music in a porn film.VA was subpar.It could have been tons better,but like the anime itself it was medium.

Onto the chars.Most of them are there just to fill the space.No apparent reason why the exist and when taken off screen you don't really miss them or even remember who they were.That's 70% or so of the cast rendered useless and one trick ponys.As for the main cast..Sagara is a man on a mission,an emotionless robot.Granted it is fixed later on but it wasn't anything to celebrate either cause the way it's done is stupid beyond belief.I mean this is a merc who has killed countless people from the sweet age of 8,he has witnessed the death of many loved ones.But that doesn't show in his attitude.It only shows later on in the series where some people in his team die.So we're led to believe that all of a sudden he went from I-Robot to Ms Robinson by the deaths of people he met some days ago?

Then is her Tsudereness Chidori.who somehow falls for the robot and wants all the attention to herself.What do you mean you're off fighting terrorists who want to kill thousands of people?I want some Sagman candy and i want it now...Oh what?You are sad people died?I WANT MY ATTENTION!Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch Bitch like someone famous said once.As for other aspects of her personality..She also switches from missshelteredtoLaraCroft in an instant.Must be the drugs she took.

Kurtz is the womanizer of the series.That's it..Melissa as i can recall smokes more than a VW and drinks like a fish and has a hot body.

Then there's the Cap...Tessa...This was the one character that didn't contribute almost anything trivial to the story.And she was the fuckin captain..I had to wait until the very last eps to see some signs of life or personality from this one,to see as to why she has the title of genius.She also has a crush on Sagman for no apparent reason other than we needed a love triangle.

So a failure at romcom,a failure at action and in between some very very good moments.But i can't stand here and say it's all bad.I really enjoyed it,i don't know why and i can't explain it but the damn thing is good.The eps really flew by and it didn't feel like it overstayed it's welcome even though it was 24 eps long.Sure there are better animes out there that can deliver much much more but still i do recommend watching it.

Also i'm really sorry if this review was a mess but the whole anime is a mess of idon'tknowwhatiwanttodoorbe.This is the best i could do with the things presented to me.But watch it for yerselves,draw your own conclusions.