It's been over a decade since the first time I've read this manga, and... some things have changed, and others don't. I feel like I've gained some new appreciation and criticism for this story too. On one hand, I'm enjoying Honda, the seme's character alot more these days. The story manages to give him genuine edge over his 'ordinary guy' archetype, and as much as what he does in the first volume is awful, it also makes him a more interesting character. The way the story reflects that incident with his decision on the second volume is also nicely crafted. And while we're talking about the secondvolume, I also appreciate the way this story MILKS over the angst. Whether the one from the first volume or the one from the second volume, the angst and heightened drama is delightfully painful. I like that the story isn't using petty jealousy, instead zeroing on Honda and Kaidou's insecurity to drive a wedge between them.

But more importantly, the failure to communicate in volume two ACTUALLY means something. There's a fundamental misunderstanding between Honda and Kaidou and I do appreciate that the story actively digs deeper on that wound instead of throwing new problems and new issues.

I also enjoy that the third volume means more than just angst. Oh, it's there, a LOT, but there's also genuine character growth happening from Kaidou, the uke's side. I do appreciate that he gets to deal with the problems in his side of the work.

And lastly, the fourth volume is just a balm to my soul.

But at the same time, I'm finding myself shrugging over the angst, yknow?

In food terms, I enjoy the way the food is crafted, but it still ends up tasting meh.

For one, it's STILL repetitive. The conflicts in this entire story are all based on Honda acting on his own feelings and insecurities and hurting Kaidou in the process. It's consistent to his character, but aggravating.

For two, as much as I appreciate that Kaidou gets to grow, I feel like Honda doesn't. At least in the third volume, his only role was to drown in angst and that's about it. Given how much the narrative has shown how much Kaidou grows during the ordeal, I feel like that's a missed opportunity--and a cheap way to heighten the angst by eliminating Honda's POV in the while.

I'm also less tolerant of the time skips these days. Between Volume 1 to 2, and then Volume 3 to 4, there's a lot of significant timeskip between them. Now I'm okay with it on principle--not all stories have to be slices of life--but on execution, not much character growth is happening between the time skips. So the drama in the second volume feels a bit contrived because Honda and Kaidou doesn't feel THAT grown despite the time skip. And volume four, as sweet as it is, feels a bit disjointed emotionally.

Also, last volume. I can't help but feel that there's just WAY too many blank panels. It's too much, and it does affect the narrative a bit.

Still, all in all, I still enjoyed this a lot. And the emotions still affect me a lot. So that should be a net positive, still.