Review of Jingai-san no Yome

A short review for a short "anime" Imagine you're in school and while you're busy sitting at your desk being bored listening to the teacher drone on someone comes into the school and is greeted by a teacher who shows them a graduation school book. This acts as a catalogue that they may choose any student from the student body to marry without any prior consent or knowledge. This is completely normal in this society and is in-fact encouraged by the treacherous teacher who not only willingly, but happily plays her part in the system. And as the man flips through the pages the picture ofa particular student spots their eye and their greasy finger slides up to point at it- their choice made, and a life stolen.

But because it's a big furry bear-like creature it's totally okay.

Yeah fuck this "anime". I don't know who this show was made for. I really don't. Comedy fans will find it unfunny. SoL fans will find its superficial writing annoying. Boys can't relate to the main character. Girls can't relate to the monster thing. And fujoshi can't see two human males to get wet to. Not only is the premise completely creepy but, if you can somehow get past it, the events that lay out are some of the most generic, boring, shallow "rom-com" crap presented by one-note, flat characters that has been done a million times better in every other show. And seriously, at best the main character is a perverted beta male who's also a massive furry. It's more interesting to watch if you follow my personal head-cannon that the boys are poor souls who were brought by sick-minded child traffickers as slaves to be their "wives" and all the stuff that happens in the "anime" is their hallucinations brought on by the torture they endure every day in order to cope with reality. This is why every situation is absurd and "wholesome" because their minds are so shattered they can only imagine what life could be if they truly were in a normal, healthy relationship. Kanenogi being able to move blindingly fast represents the inability of the poor main character to physically run away from his captor since he'll just be caught up to. And the constant stalking shows that he's under constant surveillance and cannot hope to plan an escape. Things like these are all re-contextualized into "wholesome", "funny" moments the accursed main cast laugh at and relate to. They are married to monsters, yes. But not the fun ones portrayed in this show. The ones that dress up in human form and commit heinous acts against the helpless and weak.

And the animation is choppy and cheap and the pacing is so slow even for 3-minute long episodes that I had to watch it at 1.75x speed. Ok bye.