“Seimei no Kagaku: Micro Patrol” is a Japanese and French co-produced educational 26-episode OVA that covers different aspects of bodily processes, from how various organs function to what happens if you don’t brush your teeth, using kid-friendly characters in easy-to-understand situations. Apparently, this series was quite popular in various parts of the world when it came out, and it seems that there is a lot of nostalgia for it. Watching it as an adult and for the first time, however, I have to say that at least the English dubbed version was a real slog to get through. Each episode is self-contained and focuses on adifferent body part or function, but the episodes are arranged in a logical order corresponding to the subject matter, so it’s best to watch them in that order.

The characters are confusing. You have a central cast of “kid” characters, “bully” characters and “adult” characters, and some of these have their own forms as white blood cells, viruses, etc. in the body. The “kid” characters will look like they’re around 8 years old in some episodes, and in others they’re closer to 15.

The in-body characters appear to be the same for everyone — basically, everyone’s bodies are run by old white guys who sleep on the job half the time, and they have 2 kids that patrol the body in little hover ships, making sure there isn’t any trouble from bacteria or viruses lurking about. And the three main red blood cells, Hemo, Globin and the Professor, seem to be ubiquitous as well. Regarding the Professor, he dies 3 times during the course of the series, only to be shown alive and well like nothing happened in the following episode. So don’t expect any consistency from this anime.

The depictions of various bodily processes are interesting, informative and memorable, particularly due to the unique character designs each part of the body has. I especially liked the frog-like macrophages. This anime also does a good job from a public health standpoint, showing what could happen to you if you don’t wash your hands, brush your teeth, get vaccinated, etc. Some of the facts they espouse on the show are outdated, however. For instance, they say that the appendix isn’t important, and they make it seem like it’s easy to fully recover from leukemia.

What really makes this show difficult to watch is the dialogue, but this may only be an issue with the English dub. Interactions between characters are stiff and awkward, and often don’t sound like natural conversations. Some of the voices don’t fit the characters well, and voices often don’t match lip movements. Here’s an example quote from the series that shows how bad the writing can be at times: “I love to eat when I’m hungry; don’t you?”

Characters also react unrealistically to events they experience. For instance, when a couple of characters break their legs in a fall, they just sit there and laugh, like it’s no big deal.

Animation-wise, there’s a lot of recycled animation and a few animation errors, but at least the art is unique. It definitely doesn’t look like a typical anime. There are a few odd sequences, particularly the opening sequence, which shows a naked man and woman hugging each other, and then combining to form a blob as they rise into the sky. A baby then comes down, grows and repeats the process with another naked person.

The horn-heavy background music gets grating after a while. It sounds like something that would be more at home in a ‘70s variety show than an ‘80s anime.

The ending takes a sharp turn away from all of the educational content delivered up to that point and delves into strictly sci-fi material. Some of the “future history” covered is controversial, such as human experimentation and genetic engineering; they even say that animal-human hybrids were created to “perform menial tasks.”

There is, surprisingly, a fair amount of potentially objectionable content in this, although it’s supposed to be a show for kids. Besides the male and female nudity which appears in the opening sequence and in one other episode, we get to see two different kids urinating on a tree, a rather gross depiction of a mosquito bite, and some more injuries and even deaths (both the injuries and deaths are oddly uneventful and anticlimactic, though).

Overall, while I wouldn’t say watching "Seimei no Kagaku: Micro Patrol” was a waste of time, and I feel like I learned something, I can’t say that I enjoyed it. The inconsistencies, awkward dialogue and reactions from the characters, as well as the background music made it difficult to sit through all 26 episodes. And the ending was just odd. Perhaps other versions are better, but I don’t recommend watching the English dub of this.